RECAP: Dr. Paul Little’s message can be heard at the link below.
Start with Part 1 titled ‘Life is Messy’ followed by Part 2 ”Avoiding the Messiness of Life’
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7
Points of thought:
choose to live a moral life
give yourself unreservedly to your spouse
embrace singleness & exploit it (if applicable)
if you’re married stay married
see your marriage as a ministry
choose to be content
My thoughts:
It’s easy to list a few points and say ok…so there you go just do it. But some people are living in very unhappy marriages or have been single for a long time or perhaps have even just recently become single. Others may be married to a spouse who is not Christian or maybe you ‘singley’ married. ‘Singley’ married living together but with no real connection other than the house/the kids.
So here’s my ‘take home work’:
I learned today that God has been a witness between me and my husband since our youth! Eeeek!
In Malichi 2:13-16 it says: 13 Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[a] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”[b] says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
So here it is… I know God hears me and sees me and is omni present but to read this in this context, it really shook me up. It suddenly makes me feel so accountable to Him for the way I act in my marriage. I have been married for 11 years and I am so thankful that so far I have been blessed with a husband that works with me and I with him to continually strive towards making things better in our relationship. However it’s not always easy and it hasn’t always been that way and some days we forget that we are working together and end up working against each other. But to imagine that God has been a witness to this since our youth is a reality check for me. Of course you picture Him there when you make your vows but He’s still here and He was there as a witness long before our we even said our vows. This is not a real earth shattering thought we all know God is with us but today is just really hit me in a different way than it has before.
Men are supposed to cherish and love their wives with all their heart more than themselves, and wives are to be faithful and respectful to our husbands. Last year my husband and I decided that we would have of ‘Year of Respect and Honesty’. This meant I was to make a solid effort to respect him and he was to be 100% honest with me about how he felt and what he was really thinking. We had accountability and support to another couple through this process and yes we survived. We have seen such positive changes in our marriage this past year but we have also experienced some challenges as I’m sure you can imagine. But today’s sermon reminded me that “Love is an action not an emotion. In doing the action you feel the emotion of genuine love” ~ Dr. Paul Little. This is the same for honesty and respect. You choose to be honest and respect and in a marital relationship and genuine love will be the result of those actions. In a marriage there is a path to peace, joy and love. The PATH is God’s plan for marriage. I agree with Paul when he said that we should never believe that our marriage can’t be saved or helped because if you believe that than you are buying into one of Satan’s lies. You have to protect and fight for your marriage with God’s help because no one else is going to do it for you. For example affairs. Affairs don’t just happen but when we start to get comfortable with unfaithfulness than it’s easy for anyone to slip. Marriage is not supposed to be easy that’s why the Bible teaches us that if you are single and you can stay pure being single than STAY single because it’s hard to be married.
Whatever your circumstances are you have to choose contentment. Oh yes that lovely word contentment. In the past tThis has been a hard word for me to even say especially when I dealt with infertility. How could I possibly be content when God created me a woman and women have children, it’s one of the reasons we were created! It took me a long time to learn that you can’t change your circumstances to create contentment. In fact that’s a scary road to travel and could take you in the direction of self destruction. But Paul said, “Accept your circumstances and allow them to change you. The source of contentment is the Holy Spirit so remain in Him. ” I wish I could have grasped this years ago before I tried so hard to fill the void of my childless life only to end up feeling depressed and suicidal. Today I just thank God that I did learn contentment…eventually. I would have been better off knowing that trying to change my circumstances wouldn’t create contentment but the point is by the grace of God I eventually figured it out.
The last thing that really stood out to me from Paul’s sermon was that our marriages are a ministry. If you are married to an non-Christian and they agree to continue with you in your marriage than it’s still sacred and honoring to God. But if you are in a marriage with another Christian than you have the potentiality to be each others: accountability partners, encourager, prayer partner, an example to non-Christians, mentor younger married couples, study God’s word together and the list goes on. I know I don’t take advantage some of the things I listed here. We definitely need to work on praying together and for each other more. Who better to pray for you than your spouse who knows every intimate detail about your life.
Today I left feeling really blessed for my husband and ready to set new goals for our marriage. I’d love to see it also be a better ministry and just better we can always do better. This coming weekend we will make a new ‘State of the Union’ for the year to come. We will both commit and be accountable for something we want to work on and improve in our marriage. Remember if you have children a good marriage is the best gift you can ever give them and it’s honoring to GOD.
So avoid the messiness and choose to love, accept, be faithful, respect and choose contentment!
In the clay,
Chantal