Maybe its hard for you to believe but I lack confidence.
Here’s the new blog! So happy to have my own domain name! Thanks to Amy Belzner for creating it and for Jaime Matthews from In My View Photography for the great photos.
So it’s been a while since I blogged but I’ve been very busy and brewing about lots of things that God has been molding me with. I’ve concluded that the journey God has me on right now is about my lack of confidence. I’ve been very challenged lately being faced with a lot of unexpected situations in my life. Some good, some not so good. Than reading about verses where the word confidence seems to be appearing consistently has made it loud and clear to me that God is molding me with His ‘confidence tool’ right now.
Last week we were asked to reflect on what God has been saying to us these past few months. This is how I discovered I lack confidence in myself and in God. It saddens me to admit that because it’s sinful, but it’s the truth. When I am not in control or changes in my life take place I lack confidence. I have a fear of lack of control and that is also because I am not confident in the areas I try to control. I have a big performance coming up on Dec 7 on 100 Huntley Street and I am lacking confidence in that too. In that case I can control my fingers on the strings of my harp but I cannot control my feelings however I don’t need to allow my feelings to control me. The more I prepare the more confidence I will have. I have sacrificed entertaining myself in order to hopefully entertain others. See even there I said ‘hopefully’. wow! Where does this come from? SATAN. How can God use a person that lacks confidence. The Bible is full of examples of how people lacked confidence so God gave the task to someone else. Take Saul and David for example. Saul was a fearful little boy in a grown man’s body and David was a brave young boy.
The timing could not have been better when my mother-in-law lent me her audio book titled, ‘The Confident Woman’ by Joyce Meyers. I was about to leave the house for my first day of recording my new Christmas album. I felt like I didn’t even remember why I was recording it in the first place. Than I was reminded by God through the book, because I am good at it and it’s a blessing to others. What a great book. I’m enjoying every minute of it as I drive in my car doing errands and passing streets I was supposed to turn onto 😉
These are the verses that have been molding me from 2 Corinthians 1-3
4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
7 We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.
9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 10 And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. 11 And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety. ~Chapter 1
When you are not confident and experience challenges or suffering these verses reaffirm what good can come out of it and gives you confidence to move forward to help and encourage others. Sometimes God allows us to be in a place where we have no choice but to rely on Him. That’s when you can literally see the confidence healing your doubts. IF you just rip those old ‘band-aids’ off than you’ll see the wounds are healing. Band-aids or labels whatever you prefer are very dangerous. I just read in Lysa Terkeurst’s new book titled ‘Unglued’ that we give ourselves the worst labels. A lot of people think less of themselves than others around them do. That’s horrible. So after reading that I thought, OK what do I really think about myself in regards to the situation I am struggling with right now. Where am I lacking confidence in God? What band-aid/label is covering up the truth so I am unable to see GOD clearly? Dear me, I won’t tell you. They’re awful.
The good news is found in verses 9-11. It says that I CAN rely on God, He IS GRACIOUS! After realizing why I put on so many band-aids I was glad to read God is gracious and I can rely on Him. Clearly I can’t rely on myself, especially for confidence. He is likely more gracious to me than I am to myself some days. God’s not out to get me. Those band-aids/labels I’m wearing are preventing me from my imperfect progress toward having CONFIDENCE in God.
In part 2 of this blog I will share more verses that spoke to me from 2 Corinthians and reveal to you my ‘Reasons to have Confidence Checklist.’
in the clay,